November is the cruelest month

Beloved's birthday booboo. urania's friends worried.

By Comrade Editor Marienka


In a surprising break with tradition, a local comrade official announced today that henceforth "November will be the cruelest month."  Speculation is rife as to the cause; however, anonymous comrade ministers declined to comment on the grounds that they might become eponymous.

Mstislav Chaucerov, president of the Comrade Peasant Chaucerian Society, filed a complaint with the ministry early this afternoon. "We protest this blasphemous action," Chaucerov said, "and we will resort to hanging size 48 D-cup bras in the trees at the ministry headquarters if necessary."  We sincerely hope it does not come to this. 

On other fronts, it does appear as if November is the cruelest month. Today is dear urania's birthday, but all is not happiness and harmony at the dacha.  Beloved, showing a not unwonted knack for and tact in choosing appropriate birthday gifts, presented urania with a Warner's Rustproof Corset and a card reading, "May you use this day to take stock of your life."  urania collapsed on her Soviet-issue fainting couch in tears. 


At a press conference late this afternoon, Jarek Ňadra, bra designer for the glitterati and urania’s personal spokesperson said, "I fear Paris is the only solution." The wicked but seductive Baron von Kindle is expected to accompany urania on this foray if she recovers.  "Naturally, Beloved's actions were a shock," said Ňadra. "However Baron von Kindle gave her an inscribed edition of a depressing novel by Balzac. That should cheer her up." Mrs. Martha Mucus relic of the late Henry "Commodore" Mucus and great aunt to urania said, "I don't know what all the fuss is about.  That little trollop should have been locked up in a corset years ago to keep her from trolloping down the garden path." Great Aunt Martha declined to reveal which garden path.  We hope it was the right one. 

Book Notes

By Comrade Undercover

Recently, I finished, Bab: A Sub-Deb, a heart-rending story about a young lady, who is a cross between Cassandra of I Capture the Castle fame and Nancy Drew. Although her family and her most unsympathetic older sister construe her innocent actions as indiscretions with THE OTHER SEX, she perseveres. As for Leila, the older sister, she is merely jealous because she cannot manage to land a husband. Altogether Bab is a charming young lady although her orthography leaves much to be desired. And on the subject of debutantes, I have just finished Dorothy Canfield’s The Squirrel Cage, a deeply moving story about a wealthy young debutante, who wishes to live in Thoreau-like simplicity in a one-room shack in the woods. Unfortunately, her family wishes to sacrifice her on THE ALTAR OF HIGH SOCIETY (and a wealthy marriage with the handsome Paul Hollister, an ambitious seeker of filthy lucre).


High times and high tea

By Comrade Editor Davushka

Dear old Aunt Ida Mucus of the Oklahoma Mucuses has invited the entire Mucus clan for high tea to commemorate urania's birthday. Great Aunt Martha has consented to lend her fine china and her silver tea service on the express condition that everyone maintains proper posture during tea. No slouching. Aunt Martha insists it is hard on the fine china and she will be watching everyone like a hawk.

Aunt Ida

Dear old Aunt Ida has baked a beautiful cake and all sorts of sweets and pastries. After tea there will be a poetry reading and a piano recital. We at the DarkTea Times wish Aunt Martha well. In future editions of our paper, we hope to publish some of Aunt Martha's famous recipes lest they vanish in the mists of antiquity forever.